A gold-diggin’ single mama I am not! October 23, 2008
Posted by MsLady in Attraction, dating, Single.Tags: gold digger, Men, money, single mother
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It’s hard to date as a single mother. Not only do you have to put the drama of your ex in its place, not only do you have to deal with balancing your man and your children, you have to deal with ignorant comments from people who know nothing about you except for your status as a “single mother.”
The latest ignorant flip: Am I looking for a sponsor?
Just because I am a “single mother” doesn’t mean I’m looking for a “sponsor” for my kids. I’m not holding my hand out looking for a man to support me and mine.
No. I’m doing for self. I’m college-educated, locally-celebrated and blessed beyond measure.
It took me a long time to get over the stigma of that “single mother” label. Yes, I did feel like a failure for a relationship that was broken. Yes, I was concerned about how I would be able to financially make it. And, yes, money is tight. But, somehow, we make it. And it’s not because of a man. It’s because of the integrity I have as a woman to work hard and provide the best that I can.
How dare anyone say I’m looking for a sponsor. They don’t know how hard I try to balance a heavy workload – that sometimes lasts 12 hours – with precious mommy time. They don’t know the guilt I sometimes feel when daycare providers see my children’s faces more than I do during the week. They don’t see how I give 100-plus percent of myself for my children so they won’t go without no matter how tired, sick or lethargic I feel.
Single mothers who are about something don’t have time to look for a sponsor because we’re providing all on our own!!!
Gold diggers have their place. I’m beholden to no man because of his money. That’s weak, pathetic and desperate. Single mother label or not, I’m none of the above.
Think about that, oh ignorant one, before you open your mouth and EVER ask that question, “Am I looking for a sponsor” again.
[...] Debora wrote an interesting post today on [...]
So I take it your not looking for a Sugar daddy?
Nah, babe. Sugar daddies need not apply. And men who are intimidated by a woman with drive need not, either. Not saying that I want to be a “do-it-yourselfer” for life. I’d like a help-mate; not a “savior.”
My hat’s off to you. You seem to have your head on straight. You do what you have to do to provide for your family.
Thanks, chanceencounters! I appreciate the comment.
Anytime you’re tired of the dating scene.. I would love to be by your side. All I ask is for the opportunity to show you.
You go girl! I am a single mami too and I know EXACTLY what you mean. We want a partner not a provider! We can think for ourselves and don’t need to be “rescued”.