His mama called me November 24, 2008
Posted by MsLady in Attraction, dating, Friendship, Relationship, Women, Work.Tags: Attraction, family, montez, mslady
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So, I guess when a guy’s mama calls you it’s pretty official, right? Well, his mama called me.
We’re talking about Montez, the southern-man in the brown suit who showed up to my workplace and is trying to be more than the man of my dreams. He’s trying to be the dream I never thought I could have.
Now his mama called me to, as she says, “break the ice.”
The conversation was pleasant enough. It only lasted about 10 minutes, but it just means that all this hoping and wishing for a good man has manifested itself into something more real, more deep and more official than I could have ever believed for my life at this point. I mean, it’s been about three years since my children’s father and I called it quits and about two years since I’ve truly accepted it.
And here comes Montez. Unsuspecting of all the baggage I am trying to let go of (emotionally, speaking). He’s putting on a brave front. He’s breaking my expectations. He’s choosing to work through my mistrust, insecurities and other hiccups that have come from being in love with the wrong man.
And, now, he’s put his mama on my case.
My dad’s love life November 1, 2008
Posted by mandietara in dating, Relationship.Tags: dating, family
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My dad, Monica, Richard and I
I never thought someone else’s love life could affect me more than my own.
Just before I moved to San Antonio, I heard from a friend that my dad had been out at a bar with a woman! It freaked me out – quite frankly I didn’t believe it. I thought that my friend was playing a sick joke on me.
For those of you who don’t know, my mom died four years ago after dealing with cancer for years. She caught pneumonia and died after we thought she was getting better. It was hard. I managed to finish college and moved back home to work and spend time with my dad.
During that time, my dad had never dated anyone. He has a circle of friends, mostly couples, that were also very good friends with my mom. They look out for him and some of the women are even possessive over him as I am. Once, my dad and I went to a wedding and I had just cut my hair. They saw us as they walked in my church, and didn’t recognize me and this one woman we know told me she was about to throw a fit because she thought he showed up with some random woman. In a loving and half joking way, of course.
It’s weird, but comforting knowing that they watch out for him. I know, it’s selfish. I’m just not ready for my dad to date anyone, even though it’s been almost four years.
When I heard he was out with that lady, I called him to ask about it. I started crying on the phone. My dad said she was just a friend, laughed and said, “If I ever do meet anyone, don’t worry, you’ll be the first one I’ll let know.” It was the most awkward conversation ever.
I have this memory that constantly plays though my mind when my mom was already sick. It was a few years before she died and she said, “If I ever die, don’t let your dad marry anyone else.” She said it in a joking manner, but I would’ve been thinking the same thing if I were her.
And I’m sure they had many conversations about their lives together and what she would’ve wanted for him during that last year they spent together. I’m sure she told him she wanted him to be happy. And I know he shouldn’t be alone, but it’s just hard. I always wonder, when it happens, will I be nice to the woman? I know I have to be, but will I even be able to? I’m not looking forward to it at all.
