Didn’t I meet you in the chatroom? January 6, 2009
Posted by alysette in Uncategorized.Tags: dating, internet, matches
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So. Apparently internet dating is on the rise. I just read an article that suggested people are trying to save money where they can, and one of the ways they’re doing this is to eschew bars in favor of the Web.
I can see that. I mean, it is cheaper to pay $20 a month than $50 a night (by the time you add up dinner, drinks, and a movie – or just drinks, if you’re at some trendy bar).
One part of me thinks that the Internet is much more my medium than a bar. I think I’ve covered how I don’t really like crowded places (or very many people at all, particulary if they’re drunk). I don’t like spending the money, and I don’t like noise. I can tell you right off that I come across as a bizarre mix between conceited, rude, bored, and stupid.
However (and this is a dark dirty secret) I have tried internet dating. It didn’t really work all that well. Forget personality or looks – I am deathly allergic to smoking, so who did I keep getting matched to? Smokers. In Michigan. That’s too frippin’ far away. Who apparently don’t, can’t, or won’t read. Now, I don’t ask for much – I’m not Miss America, so I’m not looking to date Mr. Universe – but I do expect that people I date have some level of literacy. I would prefer a veritable burning passion for books, but I’m willing to take reading something, anything.
Yeah. That was a really big miss.
I have a whole spiel (which I am not going to get into now) about the suggested matches and what that implies about me. It ain’t pretty.
Part of me is wondering exactly how else I’m supposed to meet someone with my interests. I’ve been reading more blogs lately, and I’m delighted by some of the smart, clever people I’ve found (mostly women, I must admit). I wish there had been this ability to connect with like-minded individuals while I was in high school – it would have saved me so much grief.
So, the logical assumption is that if I want to meet a guy who does share my interests, it would be through the internet. For one thing, I know there are no guys around here (or at least no physical way to meet them).
Maybe I should try again. Maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.
Next up: more about my previous matches…
Too much a grammatician September 30, 2008
Posted by alysette in Uncategorized.Tags: internet, rant, Seti
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Egads.
My eyes are still bleeding from reading an email sent to me by one of my best friends. How she wrote it is more responsible for my headache than what she actually wrote.
We met in a class about four years ago (although it seems we’ve known each other forever), and had not emailed much as she had not had ready access to a computer until recently. She’s bright, clever, and funny (obviously, or why would I love hanging out with her?). She’s a powerful do-it-yourselfer who is always cooking up new projects and always coming up with new, innovative, ideas.
You would never know this by how she writes.
I guess it struck me forcibly tonight as, right after I finished reading her email, I got two unsolicited emails from random guys. All had text-message English, if it can properly be called that.
I’m not giving them a chance. To me, one of the first indicators of character is how well a person writes. I don’t expect them to wield a sentance like a scalpal, or even spell everything correctly – I do expect, however, that they will take the time to actually write full words. Especially when they are words of one syllable. If you can’t even take the time to spell out a word, why would I expect that you will take the time to do anything else? You’re obviously in too much of a hurry to be contemplative or thoughtful.
I was feeling slightly remorseful, as by this standard if I had met my pal through the internet, it would not have gone very far. I do think there is one huge difference – she knows me, probably better than anyone else I can think of. It’s much more acceptable to write a long-standing acquaintance using IM-speak (although I would rather not read it again, all the same) – but to actually write that way to a person you’ve never communicated with before? Oh, puh-leeze. Cold-heartidly murdering the English language (or any other, for that matter) is not going to impress me.
Forget looks, wealth, previous relationships, pets, kids, or employment situation – I’m not going to get that far simply because I can’t overlook the writing. If you can’t take the time to formulate your thoughts and put down nice, cohesive sentences, why on earth should I take the time to read it (much less care?).
Like the song said, I want a man with a slow hand.
And, just in case it occured to you to wonder, I can’t even bring myself to abbreviate on my text-messaging. Everything in me rebels against such random slaughter of letters. That’s one of the reasons I don’t text-message much – it just takes too long to spell out.
