Sharing my drama December 23, 2008
Posted by alysette in Uncategorized.Tags: Facebook, life lessons, posts, Work
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Or, the blog topic that will not die…
mslady brought up an excellent point in a comment about my previous blog regarding Facebook: one reason we feel impelled to share too many details is because sometimes, you just have to. What is happening is so unbelieveably Days of Our Lives that to retain sanity you have to laugh about it with someone. You have to share so you don’t feel quite so crazy. And you desperately hope that somewhere, someone will laugh at what’s happening to you – and avoid it in her own life.
In today’s world, of course, the easiest and fastest way to share is over the internet.
I did think I was done with this topic, but every comment seems to make me think just a little bit more, and about some aspect I hadn’t thought of before.
Truthfully, if I could think of a way to do it and not name names, I’d love to write about my life at work. The easiest thing I can relate it to is court intrigue. And then I picture all my coworkers got up in Renaissance garb and loose it. But still, the temptation is there. I haven’t thought of a way that I feel comfortable writing about it, however, at least not for a large audience.
And it’s almost irresistable. Maybe I haven’t fallen pray to exposing myself too much simply because I’ve had nothing much to expose. Even work’s been pretty humdrum – although I finally got my boss to refine my job so it’s more on par with other assistants. It was either that or give me a raise and let me keep on keepin’ on. I’m actually rather pleased, although I would have liked more money – I had no control over some situations, even though I was involved, and what was (and is) happening had me stressed. I don’t mind responsiblity – but I have to have authority along with it.
But that’s not a very exciting post. For one, it takes too long to explain. It was quite a drama, and would probably be quite a fun writing excercise to pretend to write out like Facebook posts. Still, it does have its soap opera aspects: the recurring characters, the moments of revelation and shock, the underdogs to cheer on. I’m not sure I could write about it at this point – it would take too long to explain who everyone is, and what some things mean and why they are bad, and how the thing built up over time.
Still – there are lessons in it. Standing up for yourself; letting yourself (and others) know when you can’t handle the burden anymore, and need help. Being willing to listen to others as they try to help you, and also try to empower you to help yourself.
I think there’s a lesson for me here as well. No, I don’t think I have to start posting every last thought I’ve had and every little thing that happens – but I think I’m pretty close-lipped in a world that’s becoming increasingly open. It seems like I need to relax, once in a while, and risk saying what I think may be too much as a way for people to get to know me.
At what point does competent become aggressive? November 21, 2008
Posted by alysette in Uncategorized.Tags: aggresive, competent, Work
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I met a friend for lunch today and caught her up on my current workplace drama. She congratulated me on continuing to ‘maintain grooviness’ and then we started speculating on why things have gotten to this point.
One thing that she brought up – and that others have as well – is that my boss likes me, but it seems that someone further up the ladder does not. Why? Well, there are several possibilities, but the one that seems to be most likely is that I am “too aggressive.”
No, I don’t wear boxing gloves. But there seems to be something about my attitude that puts some men over the top. Perhaps it’s the fact that I expect to be taken just as seriously as anyone else, and the knowledge that what I have to contribute is just as valuable – if not, in some cases, more so. I’m not going to sit there, twirl my hair, and giggle.
I get along well with men who have wives that work. I seem to come across like a load of bricks to men who have wives that stay at home, or whose sole ambition was to be a wife and mother. I’m not positive I want to be either, and that’s probably a little odd for them. But you would think that by this point in time a competent woman would not be a novelty. Apparently it is.
In a company where some mid level male managers are tattooed and piereced, I’m too much? I have one small tattoo, on my upper left arm. It’s not noticable unless I wear a sleeveless top. I have a small nose piercing – some of my coworkers didn’t even notice it for weeks. So I know it’s not what I look like (unless you count the fact that I don’t prance around in heels and short skirts).
My friend has also been labeled too aggressive – simply for demanding that coworkers give her the information she is required to have by law so she can process employment applications. Yeah. So I’m not too upset by being pegged by that label – apparently it means I’m doing my job. It does raise the question, however – what are all those other women doing? Their nails?
I did have a good talk with my boss on Tuesday. He took what I said seriously. I’m just not sure how seriously he’ll be taken by anyone else.
Enough is enough November 18, 2008
Posted by alysette in Uncategorized.Tags: Work
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It’s not been a good weekend. I’ve been fuming. That won’t end until afternoon tomorrow, when I go in and talk to my boss and say, hey, you know what? I can’t give 110% anymore. It’s not getting me anywhere.
If you’ve been around the corporate world long enough, you’ve heard the advice about giving it all you’ve got, about really stepping up to the plate and knocking it out of the ballpark. I’ve been doing that for two and a half years. I’m not going out of the ballpark – I’m going around and around on a Seti-sized hamster wheel.
It’s not that I’m quitting – I may be frustrated, but I’m not stupid. It’s that I refuse to put in that extra effort anymore. Why should I?
www.ypsite.net
It all came to a head on Friday. I’ve been frustrated lately anyhow, because I keep catching a coworker’s errors. Said coworker gets paid about twice as much as I do and keeps making mistakes – some minor, some major. That bites. Well, Friday was a special luncheon for those of us involved in a project team. There were three groups. I had assisted everyone in all three groups; attending all the meetings, doing all of the charts, putting together all of the information. And when I say all, I mean 100% all of the information. Every last word.
It was an alright lunch; at the end, our COO handed out gift certificates. They were all for the same amount.
Now, part of me realizes that it’s very nice to hand out gift cards to people, especially as our economy continues to tank. I get that. I appreciate it. What has caused me to froth at the mouth is that, by making them all the same, that discounted all the work I did. I worked for three months on this. Some of the people who got certificates only attended one meeting. To me, it feels like an insult. This is how much you value everything I did?
I ran this by one of my boss’ direct reports who was also involved in the project team. I wanted to make sure that I was upset for the right reason, that it was not untoward of me to expect more as an indication of appreciation for all of the effort I had put in. Just something that would indicate they were aware of how much work I had done. Nope. I’m on target. He commented that he had expected I would get more, and that he’d be surprised if I didn’t communicate my distress.
I’m not quite sure how this conversation will go. To walk in and say, you know what? You finally broke me. Why should I give a damn when people who don’t even know how to write emails are being promoted, and I can out-program our IT department and I’m still where I was when I started? Tell me why I should care. Tell me why I should bother.
Damn it, what’s in it for me?
It’s almost like Golden Corral October 17, 2008
Posted by mandietara in Men, Uncategorized, Work.Tags: Men, Work
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- photo courtesy of www.kingsheadsouthwold.com
My place of employment is like a smorgasbord of males.
I think, at first, I was just excited to have a new job that I’ve actually enjoyed so far. Plus, how much can I complain when I get to check out hot guys at work? (Discreetly, of course…hehe). My way of thinking is, I can look, but I can’t touch. Gotta remain professional!
Now that I work in a gym and spend most of my time there – some of it just standing there and taking in my surroundings while I wait for a client to show up – I’ve really noticed how much flirting and testosterone and energy there is going around. And of course, I’ve noticed the men much more than the women. What can I say???
There are the creepy, older, pervy men who hit on every and any young girl who crosses their path. (My coworkers have been so kind as to warn me of these individuals – so I already know who to watch out for…).
There are the twenty-something single guys who go to the gym every day right at 5 p.m. when it’s jam-packed, wearing their muscle shirts and staring at themselves in the mirror just as much as they stare at the women working out. Most are decent-looking, but their arrogance just kills it.
There are the hot, older, professional men who walk in after a hard day at the office wearing their slacks, button-up shirts and ties carrying their gym bags. It’s nice to see a man that can look good dressed up and in gym shorts.
There’s the groups of teens trying their hardest to lift heavier and heavier weights to get out of their lanky phase and who talk to each other about the next big house party, which girls are going to be there and who’s bringing the alcohol. Silly little boys.
Then there are my hot co-workers who are all in awesome shape (I must admit, I’m attracted to muscular men…) Every single one of my male colleagues are good-looking men, and they’re all great guys. None has been creepy or tried to hit on me. These particular men are especially competitive with each other.
Although my male colleagues are handsome, there has been no attraction to them because they are professional and haven’t ever made me feel uncomfortable. There is a mutual respect.
But, there is one in particular coworker who I’ve hung out with outside of work, but I know I just can’t go there with him. We’ve gone to get lunch a few times, run errands during our breaks. Every now and then he’ll walk by me and gently squeez my arm or brush my back – and he always makes sure that no one else notices.
I could see myself being attracted to him, but I don’t want to be. Mostly because we work together. But also because I’m scared and I don’t want to give up my single status right now. Not so soon. I need to make sure I hold on tight and stay in control.
